Defection!
by Pimple
Summary: Kit and Olaf meet for one last time before his defection from the side of the volunteers. One-shot.


Kit Snicket let a most unpleasant scowl grace her face as the unibrowed fiend set his glass upon the mahogany table, coasterless. Eyes glittering like fireflies in twilight, Olaf grinned a most unpleasant grin. Save for her, Olaf and the unnervingly hook handed barman that had retreated into the back-room upon the villain's arrival, the place was completely empty. Only the sound of The Four Freshman's 1938 hit, "Jeepers Creepers", filled the awkward silence.

"Is it true?" Kit said, crossing her arms over her chest in a notably defensive piece of body language.

Olaf reined his unpleasant teeth in, eventually settling on a smug little smirk that did not seem to agree with the rest of his harsh features.

"Is what true?"

"You know damn well what I'm talking about, Olaf!" Kit said, her arms choosing to grip the edge of the antique table that was sat inbetween them. Olaf tore his gleaming eyes away from her pretty face, instead choosing to study his immensely dirty fingernails.

"Oh, all right," Olaf said "yes, it's true."

Kit leaned back in her chair, her world seemingly crashing down all around her. Hands shaking, Kit gulped down the red wine that she'd ordered just before the now villainous actor had arrived. She couldn't look at him. Not in the eyes, anyway. Not now. Not after what he'd just admitted.

"They'll never take you back now," Kit cried "that's it for you. That's an open declaration of war! _13 people, Olaf! _All dead and at your hands."

A wolfish look sat upon his face, Olaf merely sat there.

"Well say something!" Kit yelled.

"I've asked you here in the hopes that you'll join with us." the failed actor replied.

Quick as a flash, Kit reached down and retrieved the dagger from within her boot. Ready to stike Olaf with the gleaming blade, Kit lurched across the table. However, even quicker than a flash, the hook handed man had reappeared from the backroom, and caught the dagger within the crook of his metal hook. Applying pressure to the Snicket sister's back, Olaf's partner in crime forced her to retake her seat. Olaf leaned back in his chair, his eyes almost appraising Kit. The failed actor ran a hand over his decidedly receding hair, making it look as though the hair was _positively _fleeing at the sight of his touch. In an attempt to stifle her laugh at this thought, Kit let out a brief exhalation of air. It was enough to snap Olaf out of his no doubt twisted musings.

"Are you finished?" Olaf asked, his smug expression leaving his face in favour of a very grim and very feral looking sort of intensity. Kit gulped, never having seen this side to her lover. The unibrowed villain sat his bony legs upon the table, showing off his tattooed ankle.

"You see, Kit," Olaf said, "The way I see it, VFD is overgoing a change in loyalties. Remodelling, shall we say? Which, in this case, is a big, big word, meani-"

"Killing a slew of innocents for no other reason than to make a pitiful statement?"

"No, meaning that we've opened our eyes to the injustices of this world!" Olaf said "No longer shall we remain under the delusion that there are noble people in this inkblot that we call civilisation!"

Not buying a word of it, Kit stared in awe as the madman pontificated on about his faux philosophy.

"I'll have no part of it, Olaf," Kit said "We both know that you're not doing this for any sense of what you see as right, you're doing it simply because you're a selfish, arrogant little manchild who wants money and power!"

"Join with me, Kit," Olaf said, reaching his hand out to her "and we could stand upon this earth, together, as it burns on and on!"

"The way I see it," Kit said "there's only one flame that ever proves eternal."

Olaf narrowed his eyes at this remark.

"Make no mistake, kit" the villain said "you're either with me, or against me. Should you choose to stand against us and our ambitions, I won't hesitate in burning your home to the ground. Despite what we may have had"

"Then do it."

But he couldn't.


End file.
